2013 Christmas Letter

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year,

This year our family was split up, by necessity, as Jasmine and Samantha moved to Cleveland, Ohio to attend Case Western Reserve University.  I'll let them tell the story...

College: An Introduction* (by Jasmine Gallup)

*(as always, no one needs to really read the introduction, no matter how attached to it the author is. You might want to skip down to the real material right about now, four paragraphs down. (-Jasmine))

Here's the deal, future college students: Forget everything you think you know about college. The truth of the matter really is very simple:  No matter how much good advice people give you; no amount of coaching, research, worrying, packing, or making lists can  prepare you for the reality of the experience you're going to face... It's new... It's a lot like theater.

When you're preparing for a show, you have to memorize your lines perfectly. You rehearse blocking over and over again. You work with your cast mates, and your director, and your crew to make opening night the best it can be. But here's the thing. When the show actually opens--when you're performing in front of an audience...there's only so much preparation you can do. When you perform on a stage you have to be ready to roll with the things that go wrong...you have to remain calm... you have to keep moving forward no matter what. If you stall out at every non-rehearsed moment, the show will die. It's like improv. Your performance has to be real, not rehearsed. You have to forget everything you've practiced and just let it come naturally, learning as you perform, reacting as you perform, getting better even as you perform. The performance has to be organic, natural, present. Real. You have to be able to let go of failures and keep going.

College is like this. First semester is a tough spot to be in. It's like opening night. You've prepared, you've rehearsed, but all of a sudden, you're actually doing it. Moving into your dorm, going to classes, completing assignments. And all of your circumstances have changed. You can't call for a line, or stop in the middle of a scene and start over. The lights are bright, the spotlights are up, you're doing this in costume with all the changes. It's happening.

It's different than everything you imagined. Nothing is going the way you expected it to go. And now you have two options: cling to your original plan, no matter what..., or ditch your original plan, and make a new plan. I've taken the first option, and let me tell you something. You want to go with the second. It's gonna be great.

College: What's Actually Happening (by Jasmine Gallup)

Picture the scene. It's 8:15am. The inside of a tiny college dorm room that's a sweltering 83 degrees Fahrenheit. The alarm sounds like a series of church bells. Through the window, one can see a snow-covered ground on an overcast day. The 19-year old girl lifts her head from her pillow to hit her alarm and then look out the window. She turns on her back and stares at the ceiling.

This particular college girl She stayed up until 3 am last night, finishing an 8-page paper for her required first year writing seminar--her SAGES class (Seminar Approach to General Education and Scholarship). Her first thought isn't really a thought. It's a question..., self-directed. And the question is (drum roll please): "Do I really have to go to Religious Studies today?"

Answer: No. No you do not. So she hits the snooze button on her alarm, rolls over towards more snugly covers, and goes back to sleep.

This particular little story capture merely one of the many Religious Studies classes I missed-- next semester I have vowed that there are to be no 9 am classes on South Campus. And I have kept my vow. Anyway, between sleeping sessions this semester, there were:

Couch Forts in the Lobby;
Surprise 19th Birthday Parties XD;
Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Viewing Parties;
Stage Managing for a crazy show called "The Mystery of Irma Vep" (it has 38 costume changes in 200 pages. 2 actors play 8 different characters. Believe it.);
Cosplaying as the TARDIS for Halloween;
Going to the midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" downtown and having to walk back at 2 am because all the buses were out of commission;
Attending my first wedding;
AND seeing several plays.

In summary, college is great; thanks for asking. I made some of the best friends I think I'll ever have, played a lot of pool, attended 'IMPROVment' shows every Friday, saw one of my fiends win a costume contest as Professor Oak, and became even more of a geek. I was so busy I had to schedule time to eat and sleep. I ran lights after stage managing a show, painted the entire floor of the stage for opening night and struck the set at... you guessed it, 9 am.

I joined chorus again (a decision I will never regret), met a few phenomenal teachers (namely, my choir director, Dr. Garret; my film teacher, Professor Spadoni; and my US Government professor, Karen Beckwith). I wrote a lot of papers, watched a lot of movies, and got dragged into a few crazy schemes. I missed my family a lot, missed my fiends a lot, and missed my sister a lot. I realized that no one is really joking when they talk about sub-freezing temperatures in Cleveland and 3 feet of snow. It's a thing.

I learned that film studies is a lot like AP English, that college is a really busy place, and that I still have no idea what I want to do. I guess if I had one resolution (stereotypical resolution) for the new year, it would be to stop pulling all-nighters for essays. But I think we all know there's a very slim chance of that happening ; )

Anyway, that's all I got for ya', people of the internet.

Merry (Belated) Christmas and have a happy new year!

College Auditions (by Samantha Gallup)

Ah, winter. My first true experience of you in Cleveland was during this audition. I warmed up in the music building for a few minutes, then crossed a small quad covered in snow to the chapel where I was to audition, thereby completely negating the effects of the warm up, both for my flute and myself. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to you, 'Winter'; but at least I can stay huddled up in my dorm studying now instead of walking the "walkable" campus on a school tour, which, though it took only an hour, was to me a boot-less, and therefore timeless, experience.

College Decisions (by Samantha)

In comparison to the application process, a cakewalk. The number of Dr. Who fans I've encountered at Case Western is indubitable confirmation that I've chosen the right place.

High School Graduation (by Samantha)

What a day - one I won't ever forget. Being a member of the 'adults' team' is uncomfortable at the moment, but I hope I'll settle into it. Just remembering the words and performances of my class give me confidence.

 Moving In (by Samantha)

Carry everything you want to bring to school up a couple of flights of stairs, then decide if you really need it. I cannot emphasize this enough.

...And that concludes the tales of woe and madness that encompasses college life.

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At home Dianne and Steve looked for other activities to fill the empty place in their hearts where the twins had once held unfettered supremacy.  Fortunately for Dianne, her sister, Lisa was engaged to marry; and, in fact, did marry...after a number of peremptory parties.  Here to tell the story, is Dianne...

Lisa and Andre (by Dianne Gallup)

I first heard Andre's name in 2011 when Lisa was visiting us in NC and "some guy" would not stop calling. That guy is now my brother-in-law and I couldn't be more pleased as he is the person that has made my sister happier than anyone else I've ever seen her with.

To kick off the festivities, Lisa invited everyone in the wedding party and their significant others to one of her favorite locales, New Orleans.  We shopped, listened to live music, took a tour, ate and drank well into the wee hours of the morning.  Any additional stories of that trip are left in New Orleans but those that were there will retain the fond memories.

The next party leading up to the grand finale was a wedding shower at Lisa's house (Lisa is one of my sister's many devoted friends).  Yes, the friend's name is Lisa and to make matters worse, the 2 Lisa's look alike.  This is just one of many examples of how confusing it was to keep Lisa's friends' names straight but I think I finally have it :-).  Lisa's wonderful friends made this shower something that my sister will remember forever.  The shower took on a 'wine' and 'middle eastern' theme.  Everyone brought Lisa a bottle of wine to put on the wine rack, which Lisa then took home.  The food was fabulous and included all of Lisa's favorites.  I learned a lot about my sister that day as we played many a bridal shower game whilst drinking many a glass of wine.  

The last party before the biggest party of them all was a Bachelorette party in Ocean City, MD over Labor Day Weekend, 2013.  I hadn't been to Ocean City since I was a young child so it was a real treat to be able to go back to a beach that I had grown up on.  I had a wonderful time getting to know the ladies in the wedding party as well as some of Lisa's other wonderful friends.  The weather, food, drink, and company all led to an amazing weekend.  I must admit, however, that those young 'uns wore this old lady out.  That weekend confirmed that I'm not as young as I'd like to think I am.

Finally, on Sept 21, 2013, my younger sister married Andre in a beautiful ceremony that Lisa put together all on her own.  After the many months of planning, it was Lisa's time to kick back and enjoy the day, which is exactly what she did.  The day was an incredibly emotional one for all involved as we welcomed Andre into our family.  I can't wait to see how Lisa and Andre's story will unfold; and I am so happy to be part of it.

...And that concludes the tale of joy and madness that encompasses marital bliss.

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At home, Dianne and Steve still had a residual void that threatened to swell into a feeling of all-consuming emptiness, from the absence of their beloved children; so they were forced to dabble in other endeavors to cope with their broken and destitute hearts.  Biking became a major pastime as the sport saw a resurgence of epic proportions.  ...Ok, perhaps, I'm exaggerating.  

I'll tell the story myself...

Biking...
 I've been biking forever.  I had a bicycle paper route.  I rode from Murphey to Manteo for my 'special project' week at the NC School of Science and Math.  I rode with a bicycle club at Vanderbilt, and I did another long ride, from Washington DC through Shenandoah valley and back to Raleigh while I was at NC State.  I even rode my bicycle to the Durham VA for rotations during medical school.  But somewhere after school ended, I became a less frequent rider.  (Probably because I was enjoying soccer, basketball, and volley ball instead.  And possibly from having kids.)  That all changed in August of 2012.

Last year, I started riding with a Lifetime Fitness group that, at that time, was departing from My Way Tavern, in the building where I work.  Feeling sore and achy from playing basketball once a week; I decided to try a little biking again.  I went on over to REI; got a nice looking hybrid bike, and joined the group.  It wasn't long before I was riding after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays (thanks Karen, for leading the rides), and riding with Team CBC on Sundays (thanks Jerry, Bob, Kari, et al.).  I rode deep into the fall, at the back of the pace line (frequently with Nancy, my 'training' partner.  Thanks Nancy for riding with me up those horrible hills).  Pretty soon I convinced Dianne that I should get a lighter bike; and in the spring I was feeling ready for some charity rides.  I rode the NCBC spring rally; and I felt so good, and drafted so well, that I finished the 30 mile ride in pretty good time.

So I tried some longer rides, and I 'bonked' at least three times (bonking is when your legs are so energy deprived that you couldn't pedal downhill in 1st gear), before I figured out how not to run totally out of energy in such embarrassing fashion.  Dianne joined me for rides including the Raven Rock Ramble, the Firecracker 50/100k, the Five-O Raleigh Memorial bike ride, and, most significantly, the Historic New Bern MS 150.  In New Bern, we both rode 75 miles the first day; and then Dianne rode 50 miles, and I rode 100 miles.  Many of these rides included pace line riding with our new friends from Team CBC and Lifetime Fitness (you know who you are, but a special shout-out to CJ Rice for getting Dianne ready and also willing).

The week after the MS150; I had a special challenge in mind, which was to ride the 100 mile ride from Lenoir, NC, to the foot of the swinging bridge at Grandfather Mountain.  This was, as I've said before, the most difficult thing (physically) that I've ever done.  By the time I reached the last hairpin turn at the top, I was totally spent.  I was happy to have support of Dave, Tom, Doug, Scott, Jill, and my wife to make the experience so great.  (I also have to thank the guys at MSing Links for inviting me to join them for the 50 mile Blood, Sweat, and Gears ride, earlier in the year.  Thanks to Scott, David, Don, David, Chet, and Klaus.  I also rode with these guys on the Fall Foliage Tour at the Uwharrie National Forest)

So now I'm close to getting to 5000 miles by the end of the year; but perhaps next year I'll make the 50,000 kilometer goal (6213 miles).  But even if I don't; I'm pretty happy with all the cool rides that I've done (including solo rides around Lake Gaston, up to Massanutten, and group rides that I've organized on Wednesdays in the winter), and all the new people that I've met.  I'm afraid that my basketball days are over, and my volleyball days are numbered.

...And that concludes the tale of all consuming madness that encompasses my biking obsession.

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Now for a few odds and ends.

Trips that we took

 Washington DC; April 1-8 - Phillips collection; Potomac Tidal Basin; Philips Collection; Alexandria,Va.
 Cleveland OH; Aug. 14 - 20; Hywet Hall; Pro Football HOF; Cuyahoga NP with ABC; CWRU, etc.
 Cleveland OH; Feb. 22; Cleveland Botanical Gardens; Cleveland Museum of Art
 New Orleans, LA; Nov. 10-17, 2012; French Quarter; Bus tour

Plays

 DPAC - War Horse, Anything Goes, Jekyll & Hyde, Million Dollar Quartet, Priscilla Queen of the Desert
 Playmakers Repertory - It's a Wonderful Life Radio Show, Clybourne Park, Raisin in the Sun
 Theater in the Park - A Christmas Carol
 Playhouse Square, Cleveland - Venus in Fur << All I can say about this show is that I remain in love with David Ives as a playwright. He's freaking awesome.

Birthdays

 Indigo, 9/1/13.  Indigo turned three and raked in some seriously cool small-scale farm equipment toys.
 Steve, 5/19/13.  We had dinner at 'Bolt' and saw Lake Street Dive at the Artsplosure festival.
 Dianne, 6/29/13.  We had dinner at 'Tripps' and saw the Indigo Girls at the NC Museum of Art amphitheater.

Losses

Ivan Purdham passed away on 4/15/13.  He will be fondly remembered.  His mischievous smile, his caring nature, and his quiet presence will be a sorely missed .

Paul Cavaliere passed away on 5/16/13. We send condolences to our loved ones on the loss of one of the members of our extended family.  May the new year bring you happiness instead of sorrow.

What Will Happen When the Bubble Bursts?

Because the girls will soon be leaving; they have been forced to deal with our overly maudlin displays of affection and devotion, including an unholy number of movie nights... together; family meals... together; and other various and sundry displays of love and fidelity... together!

In our adventures together; we enjoyed a trip to Asheville, including whitewater rafting near Hot Springs, NC, and a brief, but challenging, hike off of the Blue Ridge Trail. In another excursion; we went to Charleston, NC, where we enjoyed some shows from the Picolo Spoleto festival; and we did a little kayaking, shopping, dining, and sight seeing around the city.

In a trip to New York City; we stayed at a hotel in Brooklyn, and we saw a college in the Bronx; so we saw a few of the outer boroughs. Nevertheless; we returned to the ultimate borough, Manhattan, to revisit Times Square and the theater district. We all saw Harvey, featuring Jim Parsons (from The Big Bang); but we split up for showings of the revival of Anything Goes (Jasmine and Samantha), and the comic book spectacle, Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark (Steve and Dianne). For some new experiences, we went to Harlem for dinner and culture; and we went to the Warehouse District for a walk on the High Line.


With what seems to be the inevitable dissolution of the 'great and terrible' Gallup family bubble; it seemed prudent, this year, that Dianne and I should also become reacquainted. We took a trip, without the girls, to New Orleans; where we enjoyed some great Jazz performances, on Frenchman's Street, by John Butte', and by Kermit Ruffins; and some slightly less polished, but also less crowded, street performances on Royal Street. This was an awesome chance for us to spend more time together; and to spend some time with Lisa and Andre.

Back at home, Dianne and I have been looking at the prospects of preventing 'empty nest syndrome' by biking ourselves into oblivion! This past year we started biking on a regular, and fairly serious, basis. I decided to throw my lot in with a group of riders that have been departing from the parking lot of my office (and My Way Tavern!) every Thursday. I found that I had more energy (and less agony) after a bike ride, then I did after 90 minutes of full court basketball.

On Sundays; we have joined, from time to time, a group called Team CBC. We've upgraded our bikes and our gear so we can ride 15 to 30 miles a week. Personally, I've made some more ambitious rides of 50 miles and 60 miles, from which I barely returned; but I've become a stronger (but not obsessive) rider.

So, hopefully, when the weather warms up again; Dianne and I can get out there, and do something together that we both enjoy; knowing that even if our kids are super smart academically, or super talented artistically; we can still kick their butts, athletically.

What happens next has yet to be seen. Will Samantha be a concert flautist, a pit orchestra woodwind impresario, or a deadbeat jazz musician playing for tips? Will Jasmine write the next Doctor Who alternative universe spinoff, become a movie critic for Newsweek online, or write the operating instructions for the new kitchen blender model? Can Steve and Dianne live together in peace and equanimity... with their pets; or will Snickers and Orion be ruthlessly exiled from the domicile? Stay tuned. God only knows what will happen when the bubble bursts.

Leaving the Bubble

The writing is on the wall.  It's only a matter of time before Jasmine and Samantha leave the Gallup family bubble to join another bubbly institution (hopefully, an institution of higher learning).  Both girls have received offers of admission to college; and they will soon hear from other schools of interest. 

It won't be long before those hypothetical plans, those virtual tours, and those academic application essays; turn into real bricks and mortar dorm rooms, real room mates, real textbooks, real college food... real exhiliration, and real insecurity. 

I remember the feeling.

Maybe you remember it too.

As for me; I left my own family bubble, my hometown, and my childhood friends back in 1980, in 11th grade, when I left Broughton high school in Raleigh, to attend the School of Science and Math in Durham.  This year, 30 years later, I attended the reunion of both of those schools. 

Before the Broughton reunion; I decided to contact some of the friends that I had from childhood; kids... now adults... that I knew from the Five Points neighborhood, from Sherwood Bates Elementary, and from Daniels Middle School.  Ultimately, I was able to reach a lot of them by e-mail, and see a few of them in person.  These were essentially friends from my 'youth'; friends that share my experience in the Southern suburban culture of Raleigh in the 70s.

Although I share the same heritage and experience as my peers from Broughton; I still have a more unbreakable... a more cohesive connection with my cohorts from the School of Science and Math; my first home away from home.  Whereas I could mingle, reminisce, and recollect things with my friends from Broughton; it was hard to step outside of that bubble of time and of place.  Perhaps, if I continue to keep in touch with my earlier friends, then that ease and candor will develop; but I fear that those childhood connections, at the moment, are still somewhat eclipsed by the connections that I made as a young (but aspiring) adult.

And so... I imagine, things might develop in a similar fashion for Jasmine and Samantha.  They are already making connections of their own, in high school; and they will go on to make even stronger bonds in college.

Jasmine has shared in the crucible of a drama production, with her friends at Raleigh Charter, for Antigone and for The Importance of Being Earnest.  In Antigone, she was a part of the (Greek) Chorus... a literal, and figurative, cog in the machinery of the supporting ensemble.  In Earnest, she played a more central role; for which we give much thanks and credit to the drama teacher, Ms. Rasnick, and to Jasmine's own persistence and talent.

Samantha's connections seem inevitably to be associated with music.  For example; her pre-audition flute recordings were made with the help of a friend from the Davidson Summer Experience who is an amateur sound engineer; all of her parties and gatherings are attended by friends from the school band and from the jazz band club; and (to her great credit) she was accepted to the Triangle Youth Philharmonic orchestra, for the first time, this year.

Samantha is also a member of the RCHS volleyball team which exceeded expectations this year, and set a high bar for all of the Phoenix teams to come.  In her senior year, the team advanced to the state finals; winning difficult games against arch-rival, NCSS&M, and against Riverside, at home; and winning a semi-final game against Princeton, on the road; before losing to a perennial contender, Hendersonville HS, at Reynold Coliseum (at NCSU).

Now the time is coming to count down those days at Raleigh Charter; take those senior photos; buy class rings; send out graduation invitations; and prepare to leave for a new school and new endeavors.  Soon we'll be making new friends, taking new classes, trying new things, and learning to do things we never did before.  Like the Enterprise; we're setting out "to explore strange new worlds... to boldly go..." beyond our childhood bubble.

On the Bubble

Bubbles are fascinating phenomena.  Frequently they are formed when soap molecules surround dirt and oils, separating them from our clothes or skin, to be washed away by water.  Physically, bubbles represent a small volume of gas within a liquid or a solid, like the air within the translucent liquid membrane of a bath bubble.

In medical school, I learned that cells, in the human body, are somewhat like bubbles.  Cell membranes are composed of a phospholipid bilayer, which separate the liquid inside the cell from the substance and elements outside.  Proteins within the cell membrane allow molecules or ions to move from one side to the other.  Our bodies are composed of millions of self-replicating 'bubbles', with amazing properties that depend, in part, upon their ability to create a unique inner cellular milieau. 

In 2012,  we were less concerned with physical bubbles (or cells) then with the 'bubbles' of higher institutions.  In the deluge of college propaganda, we read about the "Haverford bubble", encompassing students at that institution, and allowing them unlimited creativity.  And, on a visit to Davidson, we heard about the "Davidson bubble" separating the students at Davidson College from the ideologically different residents of the outside community.  In fact, it seems that every college  community has a sort of effervescent semi-permeable membrane separating them from the world at large.

Metaphorically, bubbles represent things without permanence or substance.  Merriam Webster defines a bubble as, among other things, "something that lacks firmness, solidity, or reality".  So... it seems that, for the last couple of years, Dianne and I, and Jasmine and Samantha, have been looking around for a place that will provide an unsteady, fluid, and unreal experience that will ultimately make them more qualified to live and work in the 'real' world!


In our search for the perfect 'bubble', we took a trip to see some colleges of interest in North Carolina; ultimately visiting Duke, UNC - Asheville, Western Carolina University, Davidson, Wake Forest, and Elon.  We learned that Duke has the best stand up comedy routine by an admissions counselor; Elon has an audiovisual docudrama presentation that will make you cry; UNC Asheville is only a wise choice if you are physically fit; but the downtown area is chock full of restaurants of every kind.  Are these the factors that we should use to find a school?

In truth... we've learned a lot about the schools in our home state, and about schools from other states that we visited; like Fordham in the Bronx, and Sarah Lawrence in Bronxville. and the College of Charleston in it's namesake city.  But it doesn't really matter what we (as in, the royal 'we' of parents,) think about the school.  What really matters is what they (as in, Jasmine and Samantha,) think; since they will be the ones who have to live and breath the academic air, of their own academic 'bubble', for the next four years.

What I (speaking only for myself) have really learned; is that I was pretty naive when I made my own college applications; and even more naive and... yes... arbitrary when I made my college decisions.  I'm not as smart as I think I am (and according to Jasmine, I'm not as funny as I think I am).  In short, I've been living in a bubble of delusion for 30 years.  Well... I say we should embrace the bubble...embrace the crazy... and enjoy our time in the bubble of self deception as long as possible!