I can’t freaking wait.
This is what I love about small, elite groups of people—the
chance to be involved with something special. Stick with me for the next bit
here…I’m going to reference Glee. I don’t know if any gleeks out there remember
the pilot episode, but this was the scene that made me fall in love with the
series. And I think Rachel says it best when she says this. I couldn’t find the
clip (so if you can hunt it down, let me know!) but here’s the dialogue.
WILL SHUESTER: You changed out of your costume.
rACHEL BERRY: I'm tired of being laughed at.
WILL: You're the best kid in there, Rachel. It comes with a price.
RACHEL: Look, I know I'm just a sophomore, but I can feel the clock ticking away and I don't want to leave high school with nothing to show for it.
WILL: You get great grades. You're a fantastic singer.
RACHEL: Everybody hates me.
WILL: You think glee club is going to change that?
RACHEL: Being great at something is going to change it. Being part of something special makes you special, right?
Being part of something special makes you special, right?
Right.
There is, to my knowledge, one downside. I can’t be involved
in everything. The Student Activities Fair was today, and more and more I’m
realizing that there will be things I will have to exclude from my schedule. I
can not do everything. And, in fact, the more I try to, the more left out I’ll
be. Tonight for example. Me and some 2nd floorer’s watched Rocky Horror Picture Show in its
entirety. It was an unforgettable experience. I was one of those people who was
somewhat familiar with it beforehand, which meant 1) I wasn’t scarred for life
this time, and 2) I got to sing and dance along to the Time Warp while everyone
else in the room looked at us like we were insane. It was awesome.
Yet, while all this was going on, a small group of people on
the third floor (where I live) was listening to big band, old school jazz
music. And another group of girls who live on my hall were sitting next door to
my empty room telling stories and eating popcorn. And I wasn’t there.
Well of course I wasn’t. I don’t have a time turner. I can’t
be in two places at once. Yet still, somehow, I feel left out. The more I do,
the more I want to do. The more I feel like I should be included in.
I want to be able to be happy with what I have. And if that
means narrowing down my club choices to two, so be it. I want to be able to
tell some of those inside jokes. Let everyone else have theirs. I got to see
Rocky Horror. : )
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Speaking of Rocky Horror, now that I’ve seen the entire thing,
absent the Halloween crowd, I think I finally understand what people love about
this movie. And I have to say, I’ve fallen in with the crowd. It’s hilarious
and charming and sad all at the same time. It’s a movie for the ages, with its
simultaneous perpetuation and refutation of gender stereotypes and scornful
commentary. It’s a movie for people who are different. You only have to
recognize the charisma and confidence with which Dr. Frank n’ Furter sings
“Sweet Transvestite” to realize that. Because even with the pitiful character
he becomes, Dr. Frank n’ Furter is first and foremost the man who made that
stunning entrance in women’s lingerie and 3-inch pumps. He was more comfortable
in those heels and garters than I’ve seen any woman be. He was more confident
and honest in his sexuality than I’ve seen many other people be. And he was a
strange, but real, inspiration.
Because if you could see that charisma….
I’ve heard it before and I think it bears repeating here.
Confidence is sexy.
There’s something attractive about it—not just physically,
but psychologically as well. We are attracted to people who seem sure of
themselves. People who refuse to make apologies, and who ask for no
forgiveness. And especially, especially, people
who act without the permission of other people. Because those are the people
whom we know will never have to ask permission from themselves.
When we doubt ourselves, when we criticize ourselves…when we
hate ourselves—we give other people power over us. We give them the power to
make us think, feel, or do things that we don’t want to think, feel, or do. We
give them the power to influence our decisions and our actions. We give them
the power to hurt us.
Dr. Frank n’ Furter would never do that. Regardless of the
(sometimes extreme) consequences, he made his own decisions. And he continued
to do so, right to the very end. He owned himself, and his mind, and his body,
and could do what he liked. He was his own champion.
Sometimes I think we need more of that in our lives. Sometimes
I think we’re too hesitant with what we want, thinking of the consequences.
Sometimes we act rashly to avoid them. You can say many things about Dr. Frank
n’ Furter, but one thing is irrefutable. He never ran away from his choices. He
was never afraid to accept what he was.
Sometimes we have to be our own champions.
Sometimes we have to want to fight to win.
For Curious People:
